My first step out of the darkness
by Vampirelover922010
Summary: Set during N/M. After Edward leaves,Bella is broken and decides to leave forks.Relationships are like glass.Sometimes it's better to leave it broken, than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.But will she get her fairytale ending? Fullsum inside
1. Chapter 1

_**FULL SUMMARY:**_ Set during New Moon. After Edward leaves, Bella is broken and decides to leave forks and start a new life. **"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave it broken, than try to hurt yourself putting it back together". **Bella is on a journey that she thinks will make her happy again and stop the pain. When Edward finds out she Is gone what will happen? Will she get her fairytale ending?

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_**RECAP!- This is a recap of what happened in new moon, if you don't want to read it then scroll down the page to where the story begins! **_

_Ever since my 18__th__ birthday Edward has been acting weird and it is starting to make me nervous. I know Edward thinks that what jasper did was bad but what do you aspect with a danger magnet in a house fall of vampire when she gets a paper cut. I think he is taking this too far and I don't like it because this will give him another reason for me to stay human. Today at school I was on my own, none of the Cullen's where in and this just made me even more nervous. I know I'm going to have to talk to him soon before this whole thing gets way out of control. I was on my way home when I saw Edward standing at the side of my house. The look on his face made my heart speed up, I could tell just but looking at him that I might be too late. I stepped out of my truck and walked towards him._

_Hey_

**Come take a walk with me**

**We have to leave forks**

_Why?_

**Carlisle is suppose to be ten years older than he looks, and people are starting to noticed**

_Ok I...I got to think of something to say to Charlie...When you say we...?_

**I mean my family and myself**

_Edward what happened with jasper its nothing_

**Your right it was nothing, nothing but what I always aspected, and nothing compared to what could have happened... You just don't belong in my world Bella**

_I belong with you_

**No... you don't**

_I'm coming!_

**Bella... I don't want you to come**

_You don't want me _

**No! **

_That changes... things a lot_

**But if it's not too much to ask... Can you just promise me something?.. Don't do anything reckless... for Charlie's sake and ill promise something to you in return... This is the last time you will ever see me... I won't come back and you can go on with your life without any interference from me.. it will be like... I never existed I promise**

_If this is about my soul take it I don't want it without you_

**It's not about your soul... You're just not good for me**

_Not good enough for you_

**I'm just sorry I let this go on for so long**

_Please don't_

**Goodbye!**

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**2 months, 25 days, 9 hours, and 46 minutes since my heart was broken. And my fairytale ended**.

I can't even remember what I have been doing for nearly three months apart from crying. Every minute _he_ is gone, feels like a day and no matter what I do it always hurts. It never stops hurting.

As I sat there wishing for the pain to go away or wondering if _HE_ will ever return, I suddenly remembered something my mum said to me as a child, when she broke up with one of her ex's.

"_**Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken, than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."**_

Although my mum didn't give me much advice, when she did it would be very profound. I knew she was right and I knew that now more than ever I had to listen.

I can't just sit around waiting for my fairytale to have its happy ending because although vampires are classed as a fictional character. I knew better because vampires where real but then again so is my life and I have to start living it, otherwise I'm going to break like glass and there will be nothing or no-one that could fix it.

3 months ago I could never imagine my life without _him; _whenever I tried I would always come up with a blank. I just never thought it would ever happen to me.

I don't think I will ever have a happy life at least not the one I would have had with _him_, but would that matter as long as I had a life. Watching Charlie looking at me every day with sadness in his eyes isn't helping me but I know he is sad because he has to watch his daughter walk around like a zombie. It breaks my heart to see him like that and maybe he would be happier without me. I know he loves me very dearly but no parent wants to see their child so broken. And that's what I am...Broken.

I know he will miss me and I'll miss him but I need to leave.. No I have to leave because staying here every day, always being reminded of _him_ and _his_ family and what could have been isn't helping me at all.

But where do I go?

I need to go somewhere completely opposite to this place, somewhere sunny, loud, crowded, somewhere like a city. I walked over to my draw and took out a map. I have money saved up for college which I don't need now, how can I go college and see all those romantic couples also college was what _he_ wanted me to do.

With a description in my head I looked at the map, I know I don't want to stay in America if I'm going to do this I need to get away... far away. There were so many choices to choose from but as I was looking at the map I remembered a problem... I can't speak any languages well not brilliantly anyway. So that means ill have to go somewhere that speaks English.

English...hmmm what about England. It's not very sunny in England but if I head for London then at least it's a crowded city which is nothing like forks from what I have seen. And lots of people go to London for jobs. If I wasn't going to college then I would need a job.

_Bella stop over thinking it!_

Ok, with my decision made I packed up my stuff and was grateful Charlie had gone to work today; I can't face telling him I am leaving. I didn't pack too much after all this was a new start. After I finished packing, I went over to the computer and booked a flight to England. I called a taxi to take me to the airport because I knew I couldn't take my truck and just leave it there for someone to steal, after all I might be coming back one day. I grabbed my passport and went downstairs and wrote a note for Charlie. Writing that note was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do but I know I have to do this. I didn't have to wait long for my taxi.

The ride to the airport was hard, looking back as the taxi pulled away from my house, I tried so hard not to start crying or feeling too guilty about leaving. I got to the airport and paid the driver. I went to the ticket desk and handed the woman my passport. After I got my ticket I didn't have to wait long for my flight to be called.

I sat on the plane feeling sad but excited at the same time. Before I knew it the plane started moving on the runway. A voice came over the speaker of the plane.

"_We are now leaving Washington, next stop London, England."_

I looked out the window and said a silent goodbye to my dad and my past life in forks. I'm glad I'm leaving, this is a chance at a new life and this will be a good thing... I think!

My first step out of the darkness!

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**So... what do you think she should do next?**

**Please Review and tell me what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Although my flight to London was eight hours long, the time seemed to literally `fly' by. I was in my own little world thinking of what I was going to do once I landed in London. I also thought about what I was leaving behind. Even though those thoughts brought me to tears, I couldn't help by think of them. After all, so much happened in the little time I spent in forks that it would take a while for me to block the memories out. I don't think I could ever forget my time in forks because if anything, It brought me and Charlie closer and I don't want to forget those memories.

I landed in London and the first thing I did was put on a jacket. I guess I was right about it not being always sunny but it's got to be better than the weather in forks. As I was walking through the airport, I stopped off at a phone shop to buy a new phone. I didn't want Charlie calling me every minute of the day worrying if I'm ok, as I said this is a new start. With my new phone in hand I went off to find a hotel.

The hotel I found wasn't five stars but it will do till I find a job and get a place of my own. I went to bed feeling very tired considering the very stressful day I had. Just to that yesterday I was sitting on my bed thinking my life was over.

Tomorrow I will go looking for a job, even if it's working in a shop I don't mind a job's a job and right now I don't care what it is. With a long sigh, my eyelids fluttered closed and I drifted into unconsciousness.

I woke up with the sun beaming in through the window. I was confused when I woke up which normally happens to me when I wake up in a new place. For about 5 seconds I totally forget where I was and how I got there. But never the less it's wasn't long before I remembered yesterday's events. I got out of bed and got into the shower.

Afterwards I was getting dressed, when I realised that I still had my phone switched off. I walked over to the bedside table and picked it up along with my new phone. After a minute I sat my old phone back down and turned my attention to my new one. I was half way through setting up my new phone when my old phone starting beeping. I walked over and looked at the screen.

**You have 35 missed calls and 23 new messages!**

Oh boy!

Most were from Charlie but a couple was also from my mum Renee. I made sure when I left, that I wrote a very long and detailed letter about why I was leaving but I guess it's a parent's job to worry. I decided I would have to call Charlie before he got the FBI to come looking for me. I opened up my phone and pressed call. I didn't have to wait long for him to answer.

"_Hello". _He sounded out of breath like he was running for the phone and his voice sounded weak like he hadn't slept.

"_Hi dad it's Bella"_. I heard muffled voices in the background.

"_Bella... oh thank god you're ok"._ It broke my heart to hear him like this.

"_Dad I'm fine, I told you in the letter that I was going and not to worry"_

"_Bella how can I not worry, you have been so upset for so long, then I come home and I find a letter from you telling me that you have left and not to worry, bells how did you think I would feel."_

"_Dad you and I both know that I needed to leave I just couldn't stand being there anymore. Dad everything there reminded me of him and I just couldn't bare it anymore. Watching your face all the time, broke my heart and I knew it was because you were so worried about me. I have to do this dad, I need to start a new life and I don't want to be sad anymore, please understand."_

"_I do bells I really do, I'm just going to miss you so much after all I only just got you back."_

"_I know dad but I might come back one day but I can't promise anything, I don't want you to worry ok, I am 18 now and I can look after myself. If anything, this experience has taught me that I shouldn't rely on just one person, I need to look out for myself."_

"_Ok bells I understand and... For what its worth, I'm really proud of you for doing this, I know it couldn't have been easy and don't worry I'll be fine."_

"_Thanks dad, I love you so much"_

"_You too bells and I hope you're happy. Just don't forget your old man ok, I want you to call me once you're settled, do you hear me"_

"_Of Corse dad and I won't forget you, I promise"_

"_Ok bells; well be safe ok, I love you"_

"_Love you too dad, bye"_

"_Bye bells"_

I hung up and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Although some of the things I said to my dad weren't initially true e.g. coming back one day or I want to start a new life and be happy. I didn't want to start a new life, I wanted my old life back but that wasn't an option for me anymore and also a happy life was a lie because no matter how happy I am, it would never compare to how happy I could have been with _him. _The more I thought about me and my dad's phone conversation the more I got upset.

I had to clear my head and it was too early for me to look for a job, so I had a couple of hours to spare. I decided to put the TV on and listen to some music.

I turned on the first music station I found and a song came on that Leona Lewis sang and the lyrics made me start crying again. They were just so perfect and it was like it was written for how I feel right now.

_Someone once told me that you have to choose  
What you win or lose  
You can't have everything  
Don't you take chances  
Might feel the pain  
Don't you love in vain  
Cause love won't set you free  
I can't stand by the side  
And watch this life pass me by  
So unhappy  
But safe as could be__[Chorus:]__  
So what if it hurts me?  
So what if I break down?  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground  
I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about all the pain in front of me  
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, ohh, happy, ohh__[Chorus:]__  
So what if it hurts me?  
So what if I break down?  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground  
I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about all the pain in front of me_

So what if it hurts me?  
So what if I break down?  
So what if this world just throws me off the edge  
My feet run out of ground  
I gotta find my place  
I wanna hear my sound  
Don't care about all the pain in front of me  
Cause i'm just trying to be happy, yeah  
Just wanna be happy, yeah

Holding on tightly  
Just can't let it go  
Just trying to play my role  
Slowly disappear, ohh  
But all these days, they feel like they're the same  
Just different faces, different names  
Get me out of here  
I can't stand by your side, ohh no  
And watch this life pass me by, pass me by

So any turns that I can't see,  
like I'm a stranger on this road  
But don't say victim  
Don't say anything

I just wanna be happy  
Ohh, yeah, happy, ohh, happy  
I just wanna be, ohh  
I just wanna be happy  
Ohh, happy

Ok so listening to music was a bad idea. I sat back down on my bed and I just couldn't help but drift back to the conversation with Charlie. One thing I said surprised me but I guess it was true, I shouldn't rely on anyone anymore.

"_**Don't let someone become your everything, because when they're gone you will have nothing"**_

I was angry with myself for letting my mind wonder. I didn't care if it was too early, I needed to get out of this room, and so I made myself more presentable and went to look for a job.

I spent hours looking for a job but none of them sounded hopeful, I was about to give up job searching for the day when I came across a 'help wanted' sign on a window of a vets. I always liked animals but it depends on the job, if it's anything to do with blood I doubt I will be able to do it.

I walked inside and searched for someone but no one was there, I walked up to the desk and rang the bell. After a minute or two a man in a white coat appeared.

"_Oh sorry about that, I was just checking up on one of my patients"_. He seemed out of breath and it was a little hard to understand him.

"_Oh that's ok, I was just wondering what job was available; I saw the 'help wanted' sign in the window_." I hope that he hadn't already found someone and just forgot to take the sign down.

"_Ah yes, well I need a receptionist as you can see I don't have on at the moment, the last one recently quit". _I started feeling nervous all of a sudden.

"_Well I would like the job but I haven't got much experience". _I knew I had to tell him because he would have found out sooner or later.

"_Hmm well you come on a good day because it's very hard to run this place without a receptionist, so how about tomorrow you come in early and ill run you through what you need to do and if you think you will be able to do it then I'll give you the job. You seem like a nice girl and you have a very polite voice so there shouldn't be any problem. Of course you will have a week's trail period but if that goes well, then the job is yours". _He seemed as hopeful as I was, I guess it was really hard running everything on your own.

"_Ok that sounds great, I'll be here at 8:00am tomorrow morning". _Although I was still a little bit jet lagged, I knew if I had a good night rest, I would be fine to make it here on time.

"That's fine, I will be looking forward to see you..."

"_Oh Bella, Bella swan"._ I blushed as I remembered that I hadn't told him my name

"_Ok Bella, I'll see you at 8:00am"._ He smiled warmly at me and started to walk back to the door he came through.

"_Thank you, bye"._ Well that went better than I thought it would have.

I walked out of the vet's and I had a big smile on my face. I was so lucky he needed help so badly, if he didn't I don't think he would have let me even have a trail period. I walked back to my room in the hotel for some well needed rest.

Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

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**(The song on the TV was : Happy by leona lewis)**

**Hope you like it the next chapter will be up soon hopefully ;)**

**Please Review!**

**If you have any good ideas as to what bella should do next then leave it as a review and i might chose it for the next chappy!**


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